j/k – Matt Turck

My VC Resolutions for 2023

1) Update public profiles: remove any reference to ever having ever liked crypto/web3, deny any rumors that I was claiming to be “down the rabbit hole” less than a year ago, say that I would have “definitely done deep due diligence” on FTX

2) Show thought leadership: tweet incessantly about Generative AI, change my PFP to a Lensa avatar, talk about how GPT-4 is “insanely mind-blowing” (reminder: cold email OpenAI to actually get early access to GPT-4)

3) Add value: advise CEOs to (a) grow at least as fast as before, but also (b) drastically cut all costs. Use terms like “EBITDA” and “FCF” which I just learned about in 2022. It’s all about “responsible growth” now (hint that I always advocated for it, deep down)

Google Translate for VCs

Google Translate for venture capitalists, 2021 vs. 2022

My VC resolutions for 2022

1. Be a mentor: give interns the chance to ghost-write my meme tweets and Web3 thought leadership posts

2. Improve work/life balance: minimize non-public effort, such as board work, due diligence

3. Show humility: use the word “humbled” more often

4. Think ahead: e.g., take pics with early stage founders for future “how it started, how it’s going” IPO posts

5. Be proactive: e.g, remove names of unsuccessful investments from all my social profiles

6. Listen more: speaking 90% of the time in meetings is too much – 80% is plenty

7. Share knowledge: be better at telling founders what to do based on my own experience as a founder 17 years ago in a different industry

8. Add value: reply to every single founder question with 🚀🚀🚀

Happy new year everyone, let’s go!

I am a VC. Here’s my daily routine.

I am a venture capitalist. Here’s my daily routine.

8am: Wake up hungover from a crypto dinner.

While in bed, tweet how refreshed I feel from a great night on my Eightsleep and my 1-hour morning meditation.

9am: look at my reflection in the mirror and say “you are *not* getting disrupted by Tiger”. Repeat 10x, increasingly loudly.

10am: Look at the list of deal announcements on VC newsletters. Feel vaguely nauseous. “Should have done that one”. Then “oh, that one, too. And probably that one…”

11am: Haven’t tweeted in a while. Time for some thought leadership. What would Naval say?

11:30am: Debate how to reach out to a founder to tell them I “heard good things”. Email? Too cheugy. Text? Creepy. Telegram? Bit desperate. Signal? This job is so hard.

A guide to understanding founder/VC fundraising conversations

VCs:

“Let’s take it from the top” = I have not read your deck

“There’s a lot to unpack here” = I have no idea what you just said

“We’re a very collaborative VC firm” = who else is in?

“Before VC, I was an operator” = I was a product manager for 9 months at YouTube, 10 years after it was acquired

“We can move aggressively” = we’ll take our time unless you’re also talking to Tiger?